Compete. Don’t Compare.
Comparing yourself to others is natural, but we can change our mindset about it so it isn’t so negative and detrimental. For example, playing with teammates that are older than you or playing up in age can be intimidating. When I was younger, I was the smallest one on the team when I played with older girls sometimes. Yes, it was scary, and I struggled with feeling confident and jealous at times. It was much harder, but I loved it because it made me better, even if I didn’t see it at that time. You may feel like you’re not good enough or don’t deserve to be out there because you’re younger and maybe not as strong. There might be times where you catch yourself looking at your teammate’s stats, how many hits they have, or how much recognition they receive. We just have to realize these are all things that are out of your control, and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up about it.
The funny thing is, I always hear athletes respond to questions like “How’d you do today? Did you get any hits? Did you win?”. Those are all ways to measure yourself based on your own value of your wins and losses compared to others. Your results. The real questions should be, “Did you work your hardest? Did you overcome any challenges? Was there a moment you had to fight back?”. It goes back to thinking extrinsically or intrinsically. If you are wanting to be better for the sake of being better, and not completely focused on the results and everyone else’s results, then you are in a good place. If you have thoughts like “I want you to make a mistake because I will get on base” or “I have to get a hit to receive recognition after the game”, then you should check your mindset.
Comparison will take away your joy of the game. A true competitor wants to compete against the best because they know they will get better from it. They are purely playing for their passion and love of the game that they have. They let go of comparing themselves, and needing results right away. They understand that getting better happens over time, and feel that getting better lasts forever because they never are satisfied. We all want to be better, but how are you going to get better?
Instead of feeling threatened, embrace the opportunity to be with “better” players and LEARN from them. Having a growth vs fixed mindset means that you’re eager to learn. What better opportunity to have to learn from players that you compete with? This is what will make you grow as a player. Instead of comparing yourself to whoever, be inspired by them and know you can be like them. Imagine if you were in a room full of players that have never played softball before. You wouldn’t have to work as hard and you wouldn’t get better, even though you will probably win. Then, when someone of your ability walks in, you have to step up your game now. It won’t only make you work harder now, but it will make you better and the other ones around you better.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Even with everyday life or on social media, it can be easy to compare yourself to what you only see, such as number of followers or likes, and think you need that. Again, those are things you can’t control. Follow people on social media that make you feel good and people that inspire you, post positive things, and people you can learn from. Shift your mindset to comparing yourself to others or feeling threatened by others to being inspired by them and always learning from them. It really does make a difference.
Action Plan:
Healthy competition: Identify a worthy rival. During practice, I challenge you to compete with your teammates and the ones who play the same position as you. Instead of already having the mindset that your teammate is going to play over you, change that perspective and strive to do better. Make it a healthy competition between you and your teammates and especially the ones who play the same position as you. If you both are always striving to be better than each other, then that makes you two better and the whole team better. Competing with your teammate is supposed to be fun and healthy, and you are supposed to push each other. Neither of you should be rude about it or over empowering. It isn’t a me vs you thing. You both want the best for one another. This mindset will help both of you eager to learn and always be in a constant state of wanting to be better and getting better.
